4 Facts, 1 Opinion and Too Much Information December 27, 2007
Posted by mike in Uncategorized.trackback
- 3,044 pounds of food is wasted in America every single second of every single day.
- The war in Iraq costs 7.4 million dollars an hour.
- David Caruso is the most annoying actor ever.
- 36 million Americans live at or below the poverty line.
- My balls itch.
- According to a recent study on human sexuality in America, Jazz fans and gun owners are the most sexually active. (Ummm…shouldn’t that be Jizz fans?)
Want to borrow my little wooden hand to scratch or should I use my own?
SCG–A wooden hand seems so…impersonal, doesn’t it?
I vote for #13. Am I too late?
Atlas–No, you’re not too late. The Poles never close around here.
I’m a pacifist, but I just want to kick the shit out of David Caruso.
Stand right in line because that is what I want to do TOO!
Thats DEFNITELY true about jazz fans.
I mean, even Dizzy Gillespies horn had a boner.
Wow.
Hungry Mother–Well I am no pacifist, so I don’t feel bad when I say that I would like to shove his ass into a wood chipper.
Vixen–Holy shit, a blog dedicated to hating David Caruso. Wait till my wife sees this.
Joey–Well hell, that’s what happens to it when you blow on it.
Malach–Well put.
Ohhh the things I could do with Dizzy’s cheeks!
Better check your balls for crabs. Thai hookers are notorious for the critters.
Sara Sue–Well damn, I specifically requested that all of my Thai hookers be sandblasted to ensure there were no crabs. Perhaps this is some mutant form of crabs that can survive the sandblasting.
And if you been usin th wooden hand on yer balls, you might wanna check em fer termites too.
Joey–Either that or splinters.
Actually, over the holiday season, 3,044 pounds of food are waisted every second.
David Caruso?? Slap slappity slap!
I hope you can move on to fresh gripes for the New Year..
We have a sh!tload ready to wheel out!
Call us curmudgeons!
So my hand, it is.
Can we sandblast David Caruso with termite-infested Thai hooker crabs?
That sad episode in Iraq is eating up our Social Security money. I think my retirement condo will end up being a refrigerator box under a freeway overpass!
I don’t get jazz. You can’t sing along, and never know when it’s going to end. Used to hear that jazz musicians smoke weed- Well, there ya go.
I worship David Caruso. He’s my hero and he’s everything that I want to be as I age.
Phoebe–It took me a minute, but I got it.
Meggie–I do have a crap load of new bitches for the New Year. I am going to retire all of my old ones and move on to some new ones.
SCG–So glad we cleared that up. I am feeling better already.
Colonel–Can’t I just put him through the wood chipper?
Dorie–Maybe we should apply for Iraqi citizenship and plan for retirement in Iraq. With that kind of money being doled out, some of it is bound to fall our way.
Angryman–Then you will love this. It is Caruso at his posing, one-lining, sunglasses for effect best!
So that’s why the DVD ’s CSI Miami is covered in jizz.
Send David Caruso to Iraq.
C.Rag–Well that is just wrong on too many levels. I mean there might be a little jizz on my CSI Miami DVD’s, but it’s because of Emily.
Beach Bum–Great idea. I have seen David blow up a truck carrying explosives with a 9mm pistol. Of course if that fails, he could simply annoy the enemy to death.
That David Caruso clip has confirmed my decision to give up t.v. was absolutely sound!
Sara Sue–Well fortunately for the rest of us, David Caruso represents the worst of the worst. Or, he may represent the future when we all give up TV.
I admit that we watch CSI Miami here, but it is only so we can make fun of David Caruso.
It’s sort of the same reason I watch the Presidick’s news conferences.
fuck you. one of my fave drinking games has david caruso in it. it’s on CSI miami, and everytime he takes his sunglasses on or off you take a shot. also, if he pauses in that douchebaggish way and says something that is supposed to be profound, but he’s stating the obvious, you take a shot. TIVO like three episodes and youre shitfaced.
merry belated giftmas
TM Bird–Yes Tequila [pauses to put on sunglasses and look sideways] but do you really need David Caruso to drink?
Some funny Caruso storys:
Shortly aftr his series, Michael Hayes, was scrubbd, I heard a news story that he had opend a “high-end furniture store,” sayin sompm like, “This is what Ive always realy wantd to do.” I remembr thinkin, “Yeah. Thats WAAAAAY bettr than bein a TV star!”
Then, not long aftr that, I heard about him gettin th CSI gig. I remembr thinkin, “Yeah. Fuck th furniture store huh, Dave?”
Joey–The furniture business would be perfect for Caruso.
“No ma’am” [pauses dramitically to put on sunglasses and look sideways] “we don’t have that in Belgian leather.” [exit, stage right]
Jizz fans….. oh my! That made me laugh. Thanks, Mike.
Mr Caruso, can you show me sompm in a woodn ball-scratchr?
When I was young, my grandmother would always tell me that if something itched it needed washing. You need to get in the shower and get busy with the loofah
x
Patti–Thanks. Jizz almost always gets a laugh or two.
Joey–Yeah, that is something he could sell.
Kitty–Are you implying that my balls are dirty? Dusty maybe, but dirty….no.