Tongue In Check

I had a bit of an interesting epiphany this week regarding race and racism. Let me preface this post by telling you that I am a bit of a racist. Okay, maybe when it comes to certain things, I am a bit more than a bit of a racist. I will freely admit that the n word is no stranger to my lips. I don’t justify my use of it simply by pointing out the fact that certain black entertainers throw the word out for cheap laughs or shock value every few minutes, but that fact does not hurt my cause in the least.  Apparently, hypocrisy is not yet part of the black experience.

Racism, however, is not just about calling a spade a spade (pardon the pun). It’s a whole complex system full of all sorts of subtle nuances that we white folks simply may never understand.  In the end, we may just have to take the word of our black brothers on the subject and move on.

Or not.

So this week’s whole dust-up about the black professor being arrested by the cops for breaking into his own house prompting Obama to wrongly call the police stupid was kind of a wake up call for me and maybe not for the reasons one would expect.

Let me explain.

First of all, I am no fan of cops. Don’t get me wrong, because I appreciate the job they are doing, but I, by no means, believe they are sacred and should not be questioned for their actions.

Warning, tangent ahead:

Did you ever notice that when a cop gets shot in the line of duty, he gets like a major funeral and all sorts of news coverage and pity? Well, don’t hate me for this, but I never feel that way. See, here’s the deal. Cops get to carry guns and wear bullet proof vests and sign up to do a job where they are paid to fight the bad guy. Sometimes shit goes wrong.  I would much rather see a parade and all sorts of accolades being heaped upon the unarmed innocent schlep that gets shot simply because he or she was in the wrong place at the wrong time rather than a cop who signed up to do a job.

But hey, that’s just me.  Anyway, back to racism.

As a white man who grew up in a very racist part of America (Appalachia), I always figured that our problems with race would eventually come to a head and that the typical urban Ubangi wearing his pants down around his knees, hat on sideways, and a 9mm Glock in his back pocket would be leading that charge.

However, after this week, I realized that the “charge” is going to come from an entirely unexpected direction. The forces that are going to really change America’s views on race are going to be lead by intelligent, well-educated upwardly mobile black folks like Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and not by opportunistic niggers like Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson. ¹

For me, the pivotal point in the arrest must have been the moment when professor Gates asked the arresting officer, “Do you know who I am?” Can you imagine the feelings that went through this white working class officer’s mind when he was asked by an “uppity” black man “Do you know who I am?” Hell, that’s the white equivalent of offering a black man a plate full of watermelon and fried chicken. Shit bound to go horribly wrong.

So who stands to lose the most when the playing field gets leveled a little. In my humble opinion, the folks that are going to lose the most are those white people that, simply by the virtue of the color of their skin, have managed to somehow convince themselves that they matter.  I could write volumes about who they are, but in an age where a picture is still worth a thousand words, why wouldn’t I just show you who they are?

Interestingly enough, these stereotypical Americans are the same ones who are most “bothered” by having a black man as president. If you don’t believe me, just take a stroll through the heart of Appalachia. These folks firmly believe that Obama is not a citizen, that he is a Muslim, and that he does not have their best interest in mind. I would say they are right about one of the three, but from my experience with some of  these people, scoring 33.3% on any test is a step in the right direction.

But I digress.

Anyway, let’s sum this up by asking what America has learned from this little media created moment, shall we?

• A president, no matter the color of his skin, should keep his fucking nose out of matters such as this–especially when the nation is in such sorry shape.
• In the future, if you are an educated black man and you find  yourself being arrested for breaking into your own home, you might want to try an approach other than asking the white working class officer “Do you know who I am?” Just a suggestion here, but from what I’ve seen, other black folks have had tremendous success by saying things like “DYN-O-MITE,” or “I don’t know nothin’ bout birthin’ no babies Miss Scarlet,”  or “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout Willis.” You might want to try one of these tried and true statements as they seem to placate the white man and make him smile. Apparently “Do you know who I am?” only makes him reach for the handcuffs.
• The media loves a controversy–especially if they can draw our attention away from real issues like jobs, two wars and the threat of two more, and an American way of life that is falling the fuck apart.
• The free ride for white trash America is about over.
• Black chicks are hot.

¹ The word nigger was invented long before Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson gave it meaning.

There is one thing about me that the people I work with simply don’t understand. Hell, they will probably never  understand it.

While I am sitting there dazzling them with reams of complicated and meaningless data designed to make folks think I know what I am doing…….

I am wearing underwear with little red chickens on them. 

Cause that’s how I roll.

That’s right, don’t fuck with me because I have chickens on my underwear…..bitches!

In another shameless act of blatant thievery, I am grabbing hold of Joey Polanski’s shtick and running with it:

Twittering

Blogging

Man, it has just seemed like that the words don’t want to come lately.  I have no idea what the problem is. My mind is still sick and twisted, but I feel like I’ve lost the ability to transfer that sickness to paper.

Is anybody elses WordPress blog under attack from spammers? WP uses this Askimet spam catching software that usually catches the stuff, but yesterday, Askimet caught over 200 spam comments pushing all sorts of prescription medicine. Typically I get 3 or 4 a day, but 200 seems a bit much.

Long time readers of this blog probably remember my endless whining about cold weather. When temperatures drop below freezing, which was about 7 months out of the year in Michigan, I immediately go into whine mode and hibernate.  Well, temperatures here in Texas have been hovering right at or above the 100 degree mark for about a month now and there has been no rain, and guess what?

It still beats the hell out of 20 degrees and freezing my ass off.

[Cue Bob Hope's ghost] Hey, how about that recession, ladies and gentlemen? Isn’t it wild? Isn’t it crazy?

I was getting pretty depressed about things the other day because ever since I have been down here working at this company, there has been a constant stream of lay-offs, early retirements, pay-cuts,  hour reduction, etc, etc, etc. Fortunately, so far, I have been spared, but I know that my days are numbered if things keep going the way they are.  Naturally, there’s a huge amount of frustration at what is going on in our government and the fact that nothing seems to be helping the employment situation.

Then I started thinking about the recession of the early 80’s. It’s interesting to me that by all accounts, that has been considered Jimmy Carter’s recession.  In April of 1981, I lost my $15.00 an hour job as a millwright apprentice job working for US Steel.  The unemployment rate at the beginning of that year was 7.5%. By the end of 1981, I had a job making less than $6.00 an hour and the unemployment rate was 8.5%. Ronald Reagan told us in September that there might be a “slight” recession.

By August  of the following year, my daughter Jackie was born and my wife and I wanted so badly to buy a microwave, but we had trouble affording one. I think at the time Anne might have been making $5.00 an hour. Unemployment in America was 9.8%–probably about what it is now. Ronald Reagan, that darling of the conservative movement, had an approval rating of less than 35%.

I can remember seeing Reagan on TV talking about the jobless rates and America’s economic policies. Things went from bad to worse. Everyday brought more bad news. Companies were closing. Companies were laying off people. God, it was an awful mess.

From September of 1982 through June of 1983, unemployment danced around the 10%  mark. Somehow, my wife and I managed to stay employed but I’ll be damned if I can remember how we were so lucky.

Anyway, buried somewhere deep in this rambling missive is a point. Somehow, the recession of the early 80’s was Jimmy Carter’s fault. I guess maybe it was if you consider that economics is usually like a slow train coming and policies made today take a while to take effect. Ronald Reagan spent almost all of his first term trying to fix things and a lot of his policies failed miserably while some worked brilliantly. So I guess my question here is, why is it that some folks expect Obama to have fixed this recession in 6 months?  It ain’t going to happen.

By the way, all those unemployment numbers I mentioned up there are verifiable. You can look them up if you wish.

Anyone want to buy a house in Michigan? If you don’t mind tumbling housing values (down almost 70K from the height of its value), rising unemployment rates (almost 15% now), and 6 months of winter, you’ll love there. God knows I did.

Now for the question of the week.

How many American soldiers died during our long national period of mourning for Michael Jackson?

I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t know.

This woman needs a serious trim:

Robert Strange McNamara

June 9, 1916-July 6, 2009

There’s 50,ooo angry souls waiting for you on the other side.

Bet that just tickles your fancy, don’t it?

For the rest of you…..

She could Red, White, and Blue me any day of the week.